{"id":5425,"date":"2020-02-07T11:07:47","date_gmt":"2020-02-07T17:07:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drhatemalhaj.com\/qa\/?p=5425"},"modified":"2020-02-07T11:08:00","modified_gmt":"2020-02-07T17:08:00","slug":"is-wife-beating-permitted-in-islam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drhatemalhaj.com\/qa\/?p=5425","title":{"rendered":"Is wife beating permitted in Islam?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Is wife beating permitted in Islam? Many of my Christian and Jewish friends use this against Islam and say it is in the Quran.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All praise be to Allah and may He bless our most beloved, Prophet Muhammad,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The following verse of the Quran is usually quoted and misquoted with regard to this issue:<\/p>\n

“\u0627\u0644\u0631\u0650\u0651\u062c\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064f \u0642\u064e\u0648\u0651\u064e\u0627\u0645\u064f\u0648\u0646\u064e \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0650\u0651\u0633\u064e\u0627\u0621\u0650 \u0628\u0650\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0641\u064e\u0636\u0651\u064e\u0644\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u0647\u064f \u0628\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0636\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u0652 \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0649 \u0628\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0636\u064d \u0648\u064e\u0628\u0650\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0641\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0648\u0627\u0652 \u0645\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0645\u0652\u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u0647\u0650\u0645\u0652 \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0635\u0651\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062d\u064e\u0627\u062a\u064f \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0646\u0650\u062a\u064e\u0627\u062a\u064c \u062d\u064e\u0627\u0641\u0650\u0638\u064e\u0627\u062a\u064c \u0644\u0650\u0651\u0644\u0652\u063a\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0628\u0650 \u0628\u0650\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u062d\u064e\u0641\u0650\u0638\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u0647\u064f \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0644\u0627\u0651\u064e\u062a\u0650\u064a \u062a\u064e\u062e\u064e\u0627\u0641\u064f\u0648\u0646\u064e \u0646\u064f\u0634\u064f\u0648\u0632\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0641\u064e\u0639\u0650\u0638\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0647\u0652\u062c\u064f\u0631\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0641\u0650\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0636\u064e\u0627\u062c\u0650\u0639\u0650 \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0636\u0652\u0631\u0650\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0641\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0637\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0646\u064e\u0643\u064f\u0645\u0652 \u0641\u064e\u0644\u0627\u064e \u062a\u064e\u0628\u0652\u063a\u064f\u0648\u0627\u0652 \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0633\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a\u0644\u0627\u064b \u0625\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u0647\u064e \u0643\u064e\u0627\u0646\u064e \u0639\u064e\u0644\u0650\u064a\u0651\u064b\u0627 \u0643\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a\u0631\u064b\u0627.”<\/p>\n

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) hit them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things.” (Q. 4: 34-35)<\/p>\n

Please, pay attention to the following:<\/p>\n

The verse starts by saying “men are the protectors and maintainers\u2026.”<\/p>\n

It talks about the extreme condition of nushooz, which is the wife’s unjustified\u00a0rebellion against the husband.<\/p>\n

It advises a gradual manner in handling even that extreme case and orders cessation of any disciplinary measures once the problem is fixed.<\/p>\n

It does not talk about beating. Based on the other pertinent reports, it talks about (light) hitting. Some contemporary researchers said the meaning of \u201cdarb\u201d here is abandonment, not hitting. However, I will base this reply on the traditional understanding of the verse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Prophet explained the hitting in the verse as “light, or not harsh”. He (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said:<\/p>\n

” \u0627\u062a\u0642\u0648\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0633\u0627\u0621 \u0641\u0625\u0646\u0643\u0645 \u0623\u062e\u0630\u062a\u0645\u0648\u0647\u0646 \u0628\u0623\u0645\u0627\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0648\u0627\u0633\u062a\u062d\u0644\u0644\u062a\u0645 \u0641\u0631\u0648\u062c\u0647\u0646 \u0628\u0643\u0644\u0645\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0648\u0644\u0643\u0645 \u0639\u0644\u064a\u0647\u0646 \u0623\u0646 \u0644\u0627 \u064a\u0648\u0637\u0626\u0646 \u0641\u0631\u0634\u0643\u0645 \u0623\u062d\u062f\u0627 \u062a\u0643\u0631\u0647\u0648\u0646\u0647 \u0641\u0625\u0646 \u0641\u0639\u0644\u0646 \u0630\u0644\u0643 \u0641\u0627\u0636\u0631\u0628\u0648\u0647\u0646 \u0636\u0631\u0628\u0627 \u063a\u064a\u0631 \u0645\u0628\u0631\u062d \u0648\u0644\u0647\u0646 \u0639\u0644\u064a\u0643\u0645 \u0631\u0632\u0642\u0647\u0646 \u0648\u0643\u0633\u0648\u062a\u0647\u0646 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0645\u0639\u0631\u0648\u0641 ” \u0631\u0648\u0627\u0647 \u0645\u0633\u0644\u0645<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFear Allah with regard to women, for you have taken them through a trust from Allah and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the word of Allah. Your right over them is that they should not allow anyone to sit on your furniture whom you dislike; if they do that then spank them but not in a harsh manner. And their right over you is that you should provide for them and clothe them on a reasonable basis.\u201d Narrated by Muslim<\/p>\n

This was further elucidated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas who said it is hitting with the siwak (tooth brush). The scholars said, it may be with the end of one\u2019s garment, and the like.<\/p>\n

The jurists also further clarify the meaning by stating that it should not leave any marks. (Physicians are supposed to look for marks on the children’s bodies to distinguish light spanking from abuse.)<\/p>\n

I hope it is clear that there is a huge difference between the Islamic position and domestic violence that we encounter here in the West as well as the East.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next, the verse must be understood within the context of the rest of the revelation, including Allah’s saying:<\/p>\n

“\u0648\u064e\u0645\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0622\u064a\u064e\u0627\u062a\u0650\u0647\u0650 \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u062e\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0642\u064e \u0644\u064e\u0643\u064f\u0645 \u0645\u0650\u0651\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0641\u064f\u0633\u0650\u0643\u064f\u0645\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0632\u0652\u0648\u064e\u0627\u062c\u064b\u0627 \u0644\u0650\u0651\u062a\u064e\u0633\u0652\u0643\u064f\u0646\u064f\u0648\u0627 \u0625\u0650\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u062c\u064e\u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e \u0628\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0646\u064e\u0643\u064f\u0645 \u0645\u0651\u064e\u0648\u064e\u062f\u0651\u064e\u0629\u064b \u0648\u064e\u0631\u064e\u062d\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0629\u064b \u0625\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0641\u0650\u064a \u0630\u064e\u0644\u0650\u0643\u064e \u0644\u064e\u0622\u064a\u064e\u0627\u062a\u064d \u0644\u0650\u0651\u0642\u064e\u0648\u0652\u0645\u064d \u064a\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0641\u064e\u0643\u0651\u064e\u0631\u064f\u0648\u0646\u064e.”<\/p>\n

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Q. 30: 21)<\/p>\n

This verse shows the overall environment that should dominate the Muslim home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Allah also said regarding the kind treatment of wives:<\/p>\n

“\u0648\u064e\u0639\u064e\u0627\u0634\u0650\u0631\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0628\u0650\u0627\u0644\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0631\u064f\u0648\u0641\u0650 \u0641\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0646 \u0643\u064e\u0631\u0650\u0647\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0645\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0641\u064e\u0639\u064e\u0633\u064e\u0649 \u0623\u064e\u0646 \u062a\u064e\u0643\u0652\u0631\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0648\u0627\u0652 \u0634\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0626\u064b\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u064a\u064e\u062c\u0652\u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u0647\u064f \u0641\u0650\u064a\u0647\u0650 \u062e\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0631\u064b\u0627 \u0643\u064e\u062b\u0650\u064a\u0631\u064b\u0627.”<\/p>\n

\u201cLive with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.\u201d (Q. 4: 19)<\/p>\n

And, the Prophet said:<\/p>\n

“\u0628\u0650\u0645\u064e \u064a\u064e\u0636\u0652\u0631\u0650\u0628\u064f \u0623\u062d\u062f\u0643\u0645 \u0627\u0645\u0652\u0631\u064e\u0623\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0647\u064f \u0636\u064e\u0631\u0652\u0628\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0652\u0641\u064e\u062d\u0652\u0644\u0650 \u062b\u064f\u0645\u0651\u064e \u0644\u064e\u0639\u064e\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064f \u064a\u064f\u0639\u064e\u0627\u0646\u0650\u0642\u064f\u0647\u064e\u0627.”<\/p>\n

“How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?\u201d (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)<\/p>\n

And he said:<\/p>\n

“\u0644\u0627 \u062a\u0636\u0631\u0628\u0648\u0627 \u0625\u0645\u0627\u0621 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647.” \u0635\u062d\u064a\u062d \u0627\u0628\u0646 \u062d\u0628\u0627\u0646<\/p>\n

“Do not beat the female servants of Allah” \u00a0(Reported by Ibn Hibbaan and others)<\/p>\n

He also said:<\/p>\n

“\u0644\u0642\u062f \u0637\u0627\u0641 \u0628\u0622\u0644 \u0645\u062d\u0645\u062f \u0627\u0644\u0644\u064a\u0644\u0629 \u0633\u0628\u0639\u0648\u0646 \u0627\u0645\u0631\u0623\u0629 \u0643\u0644\u0647\u0646 \u064a\u0634\u062a\u0643\u064a\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0636\u0631\u0628 \u0648\u0627\u064a\u0645 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0644\u0627 \u062a\u062c\u062f\u0648\u0646 \u0623\u0648\u0644\u0626\u0643 \u062e\u064a\u0627\u0631\u0643\u0645.” \u0635\u062d\u064a\u062d \u0627\u0628\u0646 \u062d\u0628\u0627\u0646.<\/p>\n

“Some seventy [used for abundance] women visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). By Allah, you will not find those men to be the best of you.” (Reported by Ibn Hibbaan and others)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In these reports, it is clear that the Prophet is urging the Muslims to avoid this bitter remedy until all other means are exhausted. He also makes it clear that not all women deserve this extreme disciplinary measure. Also, the noblest men will refrain from this as he said: “These husbands are not the best of you.” After all, his example is the best and an-Nasa’ee reported from ‘Aisha that he (May Allah bless him and give him peace) never hit a woman, servant or child. This exceptional intervention (from which most of us have been barred) was only permitted in certain circumstances, with certain women, after the exhaustion of all other means, and as the last intervention before the dissolution of the family. It is like grabbing someone violently when they are about to fall (or jump) off a cliff.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If some Muslims deviated from the Islamic position mentioned here above, it is not the fault of Islam, as much as it is not the fault of Islam that many Muslims commit sins or abandon their obligations. It remains to be said that we must rise to protect the rights of women in the Muslim societies against those who abuse them. The Messenger of Allah said:<\/p>\n

“\u0644\u0627 \u064a\u0642\u062f\u0633 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0623\u0645\u0629 \u0644\u0627 \u064a\u0623\u062e\u0630\u0648\u0646 \u0644\u0644\u0636\u0639\u064a\u0641 \u062d\u0642\u0647.”<\/p>\n

“Allah will not glorify a nation that doesn’t support the weak until they take their full rights.” (Saheeh al-Jame\u2019)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yet, someone may ask: Did these teachings contribute \u2013 even indirectly – to the reality that we live in?<\/p>\n

To answer that, let me tell you that sinners don’t need any justification to commit their sin. Yet, they may use weak arguments after the fact to justify what they committed.<\/p>\n

Besides, the rates of wife battering are not less in the west, and they get to extremes not usually witnessed in the east. Here are some statistics of domestic violence in the USA for you to ponder: (From the website of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. http:\/\/www.ncadv.org\/files\/DV_Facts.pdf<\/a>)<\/p>\n